[It has been almost four weeks since my last Blog. Sometime since then I blacked out, and have been fumbling around in the dark looking for something light to say...]Who turned off the light?
Ever since I was a wee-child, I was overly
emotional. Ask anyone in my family and they would say my nickname was “the cry baby.” It seemed I always felt weepy and insecure, holding onto my mother. The expression “she is attached to her mother’s apron strings” was readily used to describe me. She was my comfort; my
light. She beamed it to me in such a way that I did not want to be away from it. And then one day, the ties were suddenly cut, like a big invisible scissor came from the sky with one snip.
Who turned off the light?
Did you ever go from a bright lit room to a sudden pitch blackness; complete and utter
darkness? You tense up, a mixture of
fearful thoughts run though your mind. You reach out franticly into the abyss to find nothing. You feel absolutely alone. As you attempt to move forward you are frozen with uncertainty, unsure as to which direction is appropriate to find the light. Panic sets in and you grope along, feeling completely
vulnerable in the unknown.
Who turned off the light?
When she died in my 24th year, an unexplainable feeling of darkness submerged over me. It was in this isolated place that I lived my life for a while. Struggling, desperately reaching out,
frightened, and despite my efforts to find the light again, I felt vulnerable, alone and lost.
Who turned off the light?About eleven years later, a small beam of light began to show itself to me. It came in glimpses, sudden flashes before my eyes and often as
dreams while I slept (many included my mother and others that had passed away). Its intensity increased over the next few years, revealing places in the darkness I had never seen before. A small light emerged at the end of my tunnel and I began to live for it.
Who turned off the light?
My desire to know more and understand myself was illuminated with this new light. Various
metaphysical type books, including those about reality,
angels,
God/
Spirit, which I would not have considered reading previously, were now piling high on my nightstand, each being devoured for the next.
Mystical occurrences fascinated me and the daunting question of “who am I” was now my life’s quest to answer.
Who turned off the light?My childhood fear of God was slowly being replaced by the
love of God. Something had changed in me. Even though only a portion of my sight was cleared, I undoubtedly knew within my heart that I was not alone at all. And I also knew there was light, even in the darkness. After my studies in
Christian teachings,
energy therapies, Angel
healing and metaphysical laws, a realization of the light in me began to emerge.
Who turned off the light?My youthful feeling that my
mother was the light was only an illusion. Sure she beamed it to me, but she was not its Source. And now all these years later, as
Reiki Master and facilitator of light, I understand how to beam it on purpose; to be a channel of it and to call upon it in times of darkness. I know I am not its Source, but merely a receiver and transmitter of eternal light.
Who turned off the light?At forty-five, I find that I am still highly emotional. Now, however, I recognize that this is not a detriment but rather a tool. My
sensitivity to the energy around me helps me to see in the dark and be of service in the light. My emotions are like electrical impulses that are flipping my
perception switch from crystal clear to murky to total blindness. When I am feeling angry or sad, the light dims and is an indication that I must take action to increase the wattage to shine
clarity once again.
Who turned off the light?As I continue to blink in and out from light to darkness to light, there is a part of me that is beginning to understand this is the way it is supposed to be—forever contracting and expanding. It is
liberating to recognize that only I can maintain the
lighthouse that is “me.” It takes daily work, which is not always easy but it is
light work. And I am not alone at it. It is a team effort. We are all co-creators of light, connected to its infinite
Source, which radiates through us in every area of the
human experience.
"I" turned off the light… and I can turn the
light on again (and again and again).
I just realized that
enlightenment is not something you have to search for since I know that the light is already within us.
Enlightenment is when you have mastered "how" to keep the light on (and still be in your body, of course)!
MagsJOYMaggie Kalas
MagsJOY BlogAttitudeLIFT
